Telling a story...
Oct. 23rd, 2005 11:47 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
the_milky_wayThis is for ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
sandrine. A late birthday gift.
It's not much and I fear it really isn't good.
And you have to guess the fandom because I am not telling.
Part 1
Falling
The sand is warm under his feet. The stars are bright and he can see the water from where he is sitting. It’s the first time in days, no weeks, that he has some minutes for himself. Everyone else is at the bar celebrating the last successful mission but he just wanted to get away earlier and literally fled. Away from the center, from all the problems complicating his life right now. He even admits to himself that being with the team is very very low on his list right now. And he doesn’t even know why.
Maybe it is the messed up training or the situation with is brother. Or maybe just maybe he is about to break down over the fact that he is silently pinning away like a love sick teenager. Not that he wants to. It is barely anything more than casual and he had agreed to not let it go any further. But most of the times these days he asks himself why he had been that stupid. He should have known it wouldn’t work out. It was like him, to fall for someone so fast. And he already already knows that he is indeed falling. He just doesn’t want to face it. Not yet anyway. Placing his head on his knees he tries to drown out the noise coming from the bar behind the dunes.
Racking hands through his hair he feels the dampness and curses the Florida heat again. He loves Florida but he certainly can go without the heat. He feels the heat shift. Another kind of heat and he doesn’t need to look up to see who it is. He knows this heat and sometimes he asks himself if he probably knows it too good. Too good for his own sake. Because it is affecting his work, his training, his thinking. And that wasn’t exactly something which would help to put him back into the good graces of his bosses.
They sit in silence for a while, he is not sure how long but the music has changed to some slower tunes and he knows the girls have taken over. And that means most of the guys are plastered enough to let it happen. He smiles against his elbow and hopes that they won’t talk. The Talk, with a capital T, has been on the horizon for some time now. He is fairly certain that it will end everything, call it off, whatever it really was. The strange impulse to lean closer to the other man, the urge to delay every word which might be lingering somewhere between them surges through him and he just knows it is insane. He later will blame the heat and exhaustion, emotional as well as physical one.
He knows what to expect but the simple fact that the other one had noticed him not being there to celebrate and then went searching for him throws him off. If only slightly but it does because it is unusual.
The hand on his back almost sends him flying across half the beach and if it isn’t for the other hand on his arm he surely had jumped.
“Hey there.. Calm down.”
Now he looks up and he is not sure what kind of expression is showing on his face but it must clearly surprise the other man because he is faced by raised eyebrows and an insecure smile. The sand on his feet is suddenly much more interesting.
“You know, I am not that much of a macho or bastard as you think I am. I do care.”
“’Bout what?” And apparently his prayers of postponing the Talk are not likely to be answered tonight. He sighs, rubs his eyes and finally looks up again at the man sitting right next to him. And he really is not expecting him to be that close.
“You.”
It is not a question just a fact stated and he blinks. It was too much. Way too much to process right there and then. He is not used to that. Not used to the openness meeting him, usually this man is closed off, has walls around him as high as the rockets they frequently tie their asses on. And really , it scares him.
“Me?”
The sigh directly next to his ear indicates that they are even closer now and he does not know what to do, how to react. Suddenly he feels the warm sand again, sees the stars clearer and decides that just for this one night he will not care. Not care about the center, the training, his brother and most importantly not about what others might think. He decides that he wants to do something for himself tonight and with that he leans closer until his is practically lying in the other man’s arms.
It earns him another sigh and for a second he fears he has done it all wrong again. As usual. But then arms come around him. Tears are somewhere behind his closed eyelids but he knows he will not spill them. Not tonight. He feels safe, relaxed even. All the tension drains out of him and he realizes how tired he actually is. And that he craved for the touch, for the man.
“It’s been tough lately.”
He feels the rumble against his back and shivers slightly. Then he nods for no reason. He knows it wasn’t a question but still feels like answering.
“I do care. You know that.”
He nods again, eyes still closed, on the edge of falling asleep. The slow music drifting over isn’t much help with staying awake. The heat and warmth of the body behind him lull him into a daze. The steady rise and fall of the chest he is propped up against, the hand moving in slow circles on his belly, all that seems so normal right now. As if they don’t need to care of being found out. As if they are actually having or at least heading towards something more than just casual. But that’s just too much to think about right now, so he pushes it all back, way back into a corner of his mind. Later would still be time to think and talk. Not right now.
And then he destroys it all by saying: “Someone could see us.” A hitched breath and he knows the other one is thinking the same.
“Yeah… Don’t worry. Bull has them playin’ strip.”
He actually laughs at that.
“What and you are not in it? I thought you would love to see Tamara lose her attire.”
A snort and he is pulled even closer. The feeling of strong arms around him. He missed that in the last days.
“Are you mental Beaumont? I only would be there if you were playing.“ His head is tipped to the site by surprisingly gentle fingers and he looks up to see a smirk he hopes only he gets to see. “Got that?”
And again he can only nod. Because this whole situation is so damn surreal that it actually starts to make sense. They had done that before, but only when both of them were too exhausted from missions or training and only when no one was near Jack’s or his place. They had sat on the sand, watched the ocean or the stars and had talked. But never ever before had Jack actually comforted him in some way. There was sex, friendly talks, joking and drinking nights but never something close to comfort, no hugging, no gentle gestures. So something must be up, he just doesn’t get what it is.
He sits back slightly, looks at Jack and suddenly asks himself where his decision not to think tonight has taken off to. He smiles and gets one in return. A genuine one, not those Jack displays almost every time he is in *public*.
“What’s up Zeke?”
“Just wondering if you caught something on your last trip out.”
“How’s that?”
“You are acting strange.”
And Jack laughs. Really laughs. And he just doesn’t know what’s going on.
“Riles?”
“God, you really must be stressed out if you complain about me trying to comfort you. I mean come on do you really think I am that insensitive that I don’t see how out of it you are? Come one, we practically spent.. every night together. I must be blind not to see it. Just let me…try. I am not good at this. Never was. It’s weird, alright man. I get that. All this shit going on is dragging you down and I see it…. Well, hey I know how to be nice. Sometimes.”
“Am not complaining.” He knows he mumbles it but doesn’t care because if Jack realizes it who else had caught upon it? That is not good. Not at all. But still it doesn’t explain why Jack behaves the way he does right now.
“Hey Zeke..Look.. I know I have been kind of rude about the whole training mishap and yeah I just thought with everything going on I would actually try to be nice.”
“Nice huh?” He grins and this whole episode seems more and more like some kind of weird incidence which makes more sense by every minute going by. “I like you being nice Riles. Just… warn me next time. You kind of took me by surprise.”
”Scared you?”
“Kind of?”
“That a question Beaumont?” And there he is again, the Jack he knows, the Jack he can deal with. And then Jack draws him back into his arms. “Relax.. No one will see us.. Just for now.”
“We need to talk.”
“I know.” The hand goes back to combing though his hair and he closes his eyes again. “Just not tonight.”
The last thing he hears before drifting off is Bobby yelling, the music being turned up again and Jack cursing the sand in his pants.
TBC
Thanks J. for looking through it.
sandrine. A late birthday gift.It's not much and I fear it really isn't good.
And you have to guess the fandom because I am not telling.
Part 1
Falling
The sand is warm under his feet. The stars are bright and he can see the water from where he is sitting. It’s the first time in days, no weeks, that he has some minutes for himself. Everyone else is at the bar celebrating the last successful mission but he just wanted to get away earlier and literally fled. Away from the center, from all the problems complicating his life right now. He even admits to himself that being with the team is very very low on his list right now. And he doesn’t even know why.
Maybe it is the messed up training or the situation with is brother. Or maybe just maybe he is about to break down over the fact that he is silently pinning away like a love sick teenager. Not that he wants to. It is barely anything more than casual and he had agreed to not let it go any further. But most of the times these days he asks himself why he had been that stupid. He should have known it wouldn’t work out. It was like him, to fall for someone so fast. And he already already knows that he is indeed falling. He just doesn’t want to face it. Not yet anyway. Placing his head on his knees he tries to drown out the noise coming from the bar behind the dunes.
Racking hands through his hair he feels the dampness and curses the Florida heat again. He loves Florida but he certainly can go without the heat. He feels the heat shift. Another kind of heat and he doesn’t need to look up to see who it is. He knows this heat and sometimes he asks himself if he probably knows it too good. Too good for his own sake. Because it is affecting his work, his training, his thinking. And that wasn’t exactly something which would help to put him back into the good graces of his bosses.
They sit in silence for a while, he is not sure how long but the music has changed to some slower tunes and he knows the girls have taken over. And that means most of the guys are plastered enough to let it happen. He smiles against his elbow and hopes that they won’t talk. The Talk, with a capital T, has been on the horizon for some time now. He is fairly certain that it will end everything, call it off, whatever it really was. The strange impulse to lean closer to the other man, the urge to delay every word which might be lingering somewhere between them surges through him and he just knows it is insane. He later will blame the heat and exhaustion, emotional as well as physical one.
He knows what to expect but the simple fact that the other one had noticed him not being there to celebrate and then went searching for him throws him off. If only slightly but it does because it is unusual.
The hand on his back almost sends him flying across half the beach and if it isn’t for the other hand on his arm he surely had jumped.
“Hey there.. Calm down.”
Now he looks up and he is not sure what kind of expression is showing on his face but it must clearly surprise the other man because he is faced by raised eyebrows and an insecure smile. The sand on his feet is suddenly much more interesting.
“You know, I am not that much of a macho or bastard as you think I am. I do care.”
“’Bout what?” And apparently his prayers of postponing the Talk are not likely to be answered tonight. He sighs, rubs his eyes and finally looks up again at the man sitting right next to him. And he really is not expecting him to be that close.
“You.”
It is not a question just a fact stated and he blinks. It was too much. Way too much to process right there and then. He is not used to that. Not used to the openness meeting him, usually this man is closed off, has walls around him as high as the rockets they frequently tie their asses on. And really , it scares him.
“Me?”
The sigh directly next to his ear indicates that they are even closer now and he does not know what to do, how to react. Suddenly he feels the warm sand again, sees the stars clearer and decides that just for this one night he will not care. Not care about the center, the training, his brother and most importantly not about what others might think. He decides that he wants to do something for himself tonight and with that he leans closer until his is practically lying in the other man’s arms.
It earns him another sigh and for a second he fears he has done it all wrong again. As usual. But then arms come around him. Tears are somewhere behind his closed eyelids but he knows he will not spill them. Not tonight. He feels safe, relaxed even. All the tension drains out of him and he realizes how tired he actually is. And that he craved for the touch, for the man.
“It’s been tough lately.”
He feels the rumble against his back and shivers slightly. Then he nods for no reason. He knows it wasn’t a question but still feels like answering.
“I do care. You know that.”
He nods again, eyes still closed, on the edge of falling asleep. The slow music drifting over isn’t much help with staying awake. The heat and warmth of the body behind him lull him into a daze. The steady rise and fall of the chest he is propped up against, the hand moving in slow circles on his belly, all that seems so normal right now. As if they don’t need to care of being found out. As if they are actually having or at least heading towards something more than just casual. But that’s just too much to think about right now, so he pushes it all back, way back into a corner of his mind. Later would still be time to think and talk. Not right now.
And then he destroys it all by saying: “Someone could see us.” A hitched breath and he knows the other one is thinking the same.
“Yeah… Don’t worry. Bull has them playin’ strip.”
He actually laughs at that.
“What and you are not in it? I thought you would love to see Tamara lose her attire.”
A snort and he is pulled even closer. The feeling of strong arms around him. He missed that in the last days.
“Are you mental Beaumont? I only would be there if you were playing.“ His head is tipped to the site by surprisingly gentle fingers and he looks up to see a smirk he hopes only he gets to see. “Got that?”
And again he can only nod. Because this whole situation is so damn surreal that it actually starts to make sense. They had done that before, but only when both of them were too exhausted from missions or training and only when no one was near Jack’s or his place. They had sat on the sand, watched the ocean or the stars and had talked. But never ever before had Jack actually comforted him in some way. There was sex, friendly talks, joking and drinking nights but never something close to comfort, no hugging, no gentle gestures. So something must be up, he just doesn’t get what it is.
He sits back slightly, looks at Jack and suddenly asks himself where his decision not to think tonight has taken off to. He smiles and gets one in return. A genuine one, not those Jack displays almost every time he is in *public*.
“What’s up Zeke?”
“Just wondering if you caught something on your last trip out.”
“How’s that?”
“You are acting strange.”
And Jack laughs. Really laughs. And he just doesn’t know what’s going on.
“Riles?”
“God, you really must be stressed out if you complain about me trying to comfort you. I mean come on do you really think I am that insensitive that I don’t see how out of it you are? Come one, we practically spent.. every night together. I must be blind not to see it. Just let me…try. I am not good at this. Never was. It’s weird, alright man. I get that. All this shit going on is dragging you down and I see it…. Well, hey I know how to be nice. Sometimes.”
“Am not complaining.” He knows he mumbles it but doesn’t care because if Jack realizes it who else had caught upon it? That is not good. Not at all. But still it doesn’t explain why Jack behaves the way he does right now.
“Hey Zeke..Look.. I know I have been kind of rude about the whole training mishap and yeah I just thought with everything going on I would actually try to be nice.”
“Nice huh?” He grins and this whole episode seems more and more like some kind of weird incidence which makes more sense by every minute going by. “I like you being nice Riles. Just… warn me next time. You kind of took me by surprise.”
”Scared you?”
“Kind of?”
“That a question Beaumont?” And there he is again, the Jack he knows, the Jack he can deal with. And then Jack draws him back into his arms. “Relax.. No one will see us.. Just for now.”
“We need to talk.”
“I know.” The hand goes back to combing though his hair and he closes his eyes again. “Just not tonight.”
The last thing he hears before drifting off is Bobby yelling, the music being turned up again and Jack cursing the sand in his pants.
TBC
Thanks J. for looking through it.
no subject
Date: 2005-10-24 09:18 pm (UTC)And you have to guess the fandom because I am not telling.
I guessed it at the beginning of the second paragraph, when you said something about Zeke's brother. :)
This totally made my day (and trust me, I really needed it today!) Thank you! You're amazing. *hugs tightly*
no subject
Date: 2005-10-25 12:49 pm (UTC)As I told Josi as well, you should never let me write when I am sick, who knows what comes out of it... :)
*hugs*