The scene outside is almost surreal.
It has been snowing all the day. The flakes are getting bigger now, the light is dull and the sky yellow. It looks like winter but it’s still autumn.
There are still flowers blossoming outside. And it is odd to see them with a thin cover of snow.
My cat, always afraid of water, couldn’t be stopped from going outside today. He just sat on the railing of our balcony, let the flakes get caught in his fur and didn’t move.
He just sat there.
And for a second I wished I could be him. I wished I could have such an easy live (not that his live is all that easy but generally it’s easier than mine), could forget everything and could just sit and watch the snow falling.
I love snow. Right now it’s too warm, so it’s melting away. But I still love the sight of it falling from the sky.
I don’t know why I like it.
Maybe because it calms me down.
I could sit and watch snow flakes for hours.
This is the perfect atmosphere to get lost in thoughts.
I found old postcards which I sent home from a summer camp when I was eight. I didn’t remember writing them and it was strange to read them after almost 13 years.
They brought back memories of the camps I went to in the summer.
Memories of building dams with wood and stones in the nearby river, of sheep and dogs sleeping in our beds because we had forgotten to lock the door and of trips to open air theatres during really, really hot days.
I thought Mum had thrown those cards away but apparently she hadn’t.
It’s still strange to remember such things.
The cards were in a box full of old stuff from me and my brother. There are old school pictures of me in it, old drawings from me and Jess, letters, holiday photos and some other stuff. The box belonged to my father and we got it from my uncle after the funeral. Only once I have looked into it but have never done it again afterwards.
So yeah, guess today is perfect for cleaning out the cellar.
Mum said she had put the box into a bigger one when we had moved out of the old flat. And since then no one had bothered to unpack it again.
I don’t know what to think about it, the box I mean. It’s part of my past but I haven’t any real connection to it anymore.
To the camps and holidays I have one but not the person I was back then or to the people who had been around me. I barely remember their names even though I went to school with some of them or were good friends with them.
So it’s really strange to look at all this stuff.
I am not uncomfortable with it or something.
I am feeling pretty good right now.
The sky almost looks red now.
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